Just a shit, shower and shave - two-star hotels have only what you need
Two-star dives across the country help players save a buck here and there with a certain charm.
Only the top 1% of poker players live the dream lifestyle of staying in fancy hotels, flying first class and eating $400 sushi. Most players must be frugal to stay successful in tournament poker, shaving costs whenever possible and that finds most players booking budget-friendly, two-star hotels.
When one doesn’t have Seven Star, Diamond or Platinum Elite status, nothing cuts down on expenses better than aged, two-star hotel. Motel 6, Days Inn and Extended Stays all offer rates under $100 a night but come with all the charms of a two-star life.
When one tournament blends into the next and each stop blurring into one long grind, you just need a place to shit, shower and shave.
Two-star hotel quirks can range from frustratingly funny to inconvenient. Want a TV remote in Hammond? That will need a $10 deposit. Forget your shaving cream in Daytona Beach? You’re going to have to walk across the street to a different hotel’s sundry shop. Do you want your room cleaned in Atlantic City? That will be on Sunday only.
Independently owned two-star hotels come slapped together by someone’s drunk uncle. A 500 square foot room has four types of flooring, holes drilled through external walls to pull cable through and orange/brown furniture your grandmother owned in the 70s
.Florida’s charms include toothless lot lizards trolling for dates, a room of six parentless children raising hell in the featureless, concrete pool and tweakers peeking through the curtains every time a car parks.
A favorite two-star accommodation among bloggers and dealers during the Rio years was the Extended Stay on Valley View. It’s technically walkable but I’d stash an empty beer bottle at the corner in case one of Vegas’ tunnel people crawled out nearby.
Temperatures routinely exceed 110 during the summer and to air condition the bedroom, they installed an eight-inch exhaust fan in the wall to (unsuccessfully) suck cold air to the bedroom.
The complimentary continental breakfast is always served from 6:00 am to 9:00 am. Cold cereal, waffle batter from a jug and yogurts are your sure bets – any fruit, cheese or eggs you didn’t see peeled, opened or cracked are suspect.
While embracing the two-star life, one has to take two-star precautions. Always bring your own pillow when driving, use a chip clip to keep the curtains closed and always use the “Motel 6 lock.”
Bed bugs are of concern but normally you can spot them if you look close enough. Never drink out of the glassware in the room, don’t walk barefoot and leave your blacklight at home – some things are better left unknown.
Heed reviews you see online – “I should have known something was wrong when I was checking in and a guy was checking his family out because they didn’t feel safe,” or “I met the drug dealer in Room 152,” is a good sign to skip any Baymont Inn.
Living cheap also means eating cheap. One advantage is they usually have a small refrigerator and microwave – perfect for Top Ramen, leftover pizza and PB&J.
Returning home never felt so good as after checking out of a two-star hotel. There’s nothing like knowing exactly where to set the water for a shower, sleeping without waking to couples shouting and not being afraid of what you might find under the bed.
Spend an extra 20-30$ and go wild In a 3 star lol